{"id":6164,"date":"2010-03-02T20:09:55","date_gmt":"2010-03-02T19:09:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/?p=6164"},"modified":"2010-03-02T20:09:55","modified_gmt":"2010-03-02T19:09:55","slug":"state-artist-muse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/celebrities\/state-artist-muse\/","title":{"rendered":"The State of The Artist # 3 – The Muse"},"content":{"rendered":"

So what is this Muse? <\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

I won\u2019t take the time to look it up right for fear that it will break the rhythm\/flow that I\u2019m feeling right now.<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/dt>\n
Oil Painting \u00a9 Marvin Kanarek<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

I know it\u2019s here guiding my thought and words. As I said, I will only write when it \u201cvisits\u201d, otherwise my explanation will be tainted by premeditated intellectualizing. I\u2019m sure there are dictionary definitions of the word Muse. I or you can look it up. Maybe I will when this cycle has passed through me. I had heard a great story about a Scottish poetess who was out walking on her land one morning when all of a sudden she felt the presence of the Muse. She hurried home as fast as she could. Her pace was quickened by the fear that if she didn\u2019t get back soon enough, the muse would pass through her and go on to inspire another poet! Interesting.<\/p>\n

I think that\u2019s part of what this Muse energy is. I know that I had a similar experience years ago. From 1993 to 1996 I had to take many flights from Paris to Toronto when my father was ill. I can\u2019t remember how many trips I took, but I do remember the last one. I knew that this would be the last trip to Toronto. I knew intuitively, but I think my inner\u00a0defense\u00a0mechanism was protecting me from the sad brutal truth that my Dad wasn\u2019t going to make it this time. When he passed away,we held the traditional Jewish funeral which meant burial within 24 hours followed by seven days of mourning \u201cshiva\u201d. My family was borderline reform Jews. Basically meaning that twice a year, we followed tradition only going to synagogue for two high holidays. We weren\u2019t orthodox religious. We completed the 7 days of mourning at my family home where we were staying. I felt numb and distant. The night after the \u201cshiva\u201d period, I went downstairs to my sister\u2019s apartment where I immediately began to paint furiously. I would finish one, gulp down another hit of strong whiskey,tack up another large piece of thick grainy paper and continue.<\/p>\n

Over and over and over again. Occasionally I would have the small captive audience of my sister, mother and girlfriend. This process lasted days without much sleep. Those days are still a blur to me. Almost out of focus. I know they happened, there are some paintings left as evidence. I do have one clear memory of those days and nights. The last night I was downstairs painting,an unusual event happened. I became aware during the creation of one painting that something had changed. No, something was missing. It felt like a void. I realized at that moment that it was me now \u201csteering and guiding\u201d the painting. It was at that moment of realization that I became aware of the fact that something had \u201cpassed\u201d through me during those long days and nights. Was it my Father? The Muse? Both? I didn\u2019t know then. I am not so sure now. With certainty there was a \u201cpresence\u201d that was no longer there. I knew then,that I had to stop painting. The \u201cride\u201d was over. I went upstairs and fell into a deep, much needed sleep. My sister woke me the next morning asking me to come downstairs.<\/p>\n

Standing in front of all the paintings tacked to the wall,she asked me to count them. Eighteen. Eighteen paintings! Eighteen! A very important number to my family. My Mom\u2019s birthday was April 18th<\/sup>. My Dad\u2019s, September the 18th<\/sup>. My birthday, January the 18th<\/sup>. My parents wedding anniversary, September the 18th<\/sup>. My Dad was buried November the 18th<\/sup>. In the Jewish tradition, the number 18 signifies \u201cchai\u201d:. Life! We stood in silence looking at the work that surrounded us. The titles of each painting immediately came to me without any forethought (as they still do). At that moment, the Muse was back momentarily to give me one more gift before he or she left. The series was called \u201cThe Neshumah\u201dseries. Neshumah. The Soul. Each one represented the journey of my Father\u2019s soul. The Muse slipped away. I stood there mesmerized and in awe. I feel like I\u2019m thinking right now as I write. Perhaps the memory has triggered other memories. I think I\u2019ll visit them. The Muse has left. I will now stop here\u2026<\/p>\n

Check out the other episodes posted by Marvin Kanarek: The State of the Artist<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m sure there are dictionary definitions of the word Muse. I or you can look it up. Maybe I will when this cycle has passed through me. I had heard a great story about a Scottish poetess who was out walking on her land one morning when all of a sudden she felt the presence of the Muse. She hurried home as fast as she could. Her pace was quickened by the fear that if she didn\u2019t get back soon enough, the muse would pass through her and go on to inspire another poet! Interesting.
\nI think that\u2019s part of what this Muse energy is. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6247,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5],"tags":[728,3,28,743,788,100,36],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/DSC_0206_2.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paG8MM-1Bq","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6179,"url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/celebrities\/state-artist-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":6164,"position":0},"title":"The State of The Artist # 4","author":"Benjamin Kanarek","date":"March 3, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"by Marvin Kanarek I was going to do something else right now. I was outside having a smoke. Something came in again. So I\u2019m sitting here getting it out before it goes away. Three words: - Sacrifice, Selfishness, Balance. When that \u201cmoment arrives\u201d it\u2019s only you tapping into and following\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrities"","block_context":{"text":"Celebrities","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/category\/celebrities\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/PC260273.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/PC260273.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/PC260273.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6092,"url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/celebrities\/state-artist\/","url_meta":{"origin":6164,"position":1},"title":"The State of the Artist # 1","author":"Benjamin Kanarek","date":"February 28, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"by Marvin Kanarek I\u2019ll try as best I can to describe the journey, the psyche, the attitude, the denial, the acceptance and anything else I can touch upon that might illuminate this elusive universe that I call \u201cThe State Of The Artist? It\u2019s a state of mind, spirit and necessity,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrities"","block_context":{"text":"Celebrities","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/category\/celebrities\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/Photo-by-Marvin-Kanarek.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/Photo-by-Marvin-Kanarek.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/Photo-by-Marvin-Kanarek.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6276,"url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/eclectic\/epiphany-without-muse-guidance-children-drawings\/","url_meta":{"origin":6164,"position":2},"title":"An Epiphany","author":"Benjamin Kanarek","date":"March 18, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Have you ever watched a child draw? Have you noticed how deeply absorbed and focused they are while they draw? Have you visited a group exhibition of children\u2019s drawings created during their early formative years? I have!","rel":"","context":"In "Eclectic"","block_context":{"text":"Eclectic","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/category\/eclectic\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/jPg9GjKdi66gmwma2TyHqBF0_500.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6254,"url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/celebrities\/state-artist-6\/","url_meta":{"origin":6164,"position":3},"title":"The State of The Artist # 6","author":"Benjamin Kanarek","date":"March 11, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"by Marvin Kanarek \u201cBody Of Work\u201d is here, let\u2019s see where this goes... Someone who designs a single house is not an architect. Someone who writes a single song or set of lyrics is not a songwriter. A person who owns a musical instrument is not a musician. A single\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrities"","block_context":{"text":"Celebrities","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/category\/celebrities\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/kanarek.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6123,"url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/celebrities\/state-artist-part-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":6164,"position":4},"title":"The State of the Artist # 2","author":"Benjamin Kanarek","date":"March 1, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"by Marvin Kanarek I just had an epiphany, maybe it\u2019s The Muse, I don\u2019t know. So I guess I\u2019m fated to continue at least \u2018til the end of this little story. I\u2019m a true \u201cdyed in the T-shirt\u201d Hippy way back when during the Yorkville days in Toronto. Living the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrities"","block_context":{"text":"Celebrities","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/category\/celebrities\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/PC250099.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/PC250099.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/PC250099.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16178,"url":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/benjamin-kanarek-work\/barbara-elias-brazilian-it-girl-pedro-lourenco-muse-lensed-benjamin-kanarek-rg-magazine\/","url_meta":{"origin":6164,"position":5},"title":"Barbara Elias, Brazilian It Girl & Pedro Louren\u00e7o's Muse Lensed by Benjamin Kanarek for RG Magazine","author":"Benjamin Kanarek","date":"May 2, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Barbara Elias, Brazilian It Girl & Pedro Louren\u00e7o's Muse Lensed by Benjamin Kanarek in the Streets of Paris for RG Magazine","rel":"","context":"In "Benjamin Kanarek Work"","block_context":{"text":"Benjamin Kanarek Work","link":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/category\/benjamin-kanarek-work\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thebkmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Barbara-Elias-by-Benjamin-Kanarek-for-RG-Magazine-550x728.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6164"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6164"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6164\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebkmag.com\/rebuild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}